Conversely, introverts process information internally, Helgoe says. That skill allows them to hear, understand and provide carefully considered insight when they do respond.
Because introverts typically feel less comfortable speaking than they do listening, they choose their words wisely, according to Buelow. That being said, introverts may take a little too long to formulate their thoughts before sharing them — especially in fast-paced business settings.
The skill of choosing your words wisely is just as beneficial online as it is in person. The typical introvert also uses his or her observant nature to read the room. Introverts are especially skilled at noticing introvert qualities in others, Kahnweiler says. They can tell when a person is thinking, processing and observing, and then give them the space to do so, which makes people feel much more comfortable, according to Kahnweiler.
Since introverts can feel their energy being drained by being around other people — as opposed to extroverts, who gain energy from being with others— introverts choose their friends wisely. Throughout the years, I have started to embrace my talents with being an introvert. However, at times it can be a little annoying. My biggest trait that I have that I would like to improve on is when I want to recharge and tune out everyone, my family and friends will take it as me ignoring them.
My mom has never understood me being an introvert. She expects me to talk to her almost everyday. My friends will say the same thing. Meaning that they have either an extreme high or low moment, which for me to connect to that energy is super draining. Same for them being high. This type of connection that I have with people is where I find myself shining. I find that my customers and really anyone that I come in contact with, naturally wants to share things with me.
I believe that this is a great trait to have, especially as a sales person. However, I have always found this to be so draining for me. By the time I get home, I could be zapped of all of my energy.
The last thing I want to do is answer the phone. The problem is that I cannot always turn it off. Hence the real lows. Now only an introvert could understand how that makes you feel lol. I love my talent to be able to connect with people in a deep way.
Hi Steph, thanks so much for sharing! I am very similar to you in so many ways you describe. My reset mode can be an extreme withdrawal. I am 15 now and all my life of school being around people I never said a word only when I had to. I never said anything and I was with the same classmates for 8 years. How is it possible that I can not speak in all that time.
I only speak to my siblings and parents but that hardly. I had 2 friends but we not close anymore. I am in my house most of the time. I have a problem even with sharing my feeling. I need help. What stops you from feeling like you can speak to people? I know it can be different for everyone and the feelings that emerge in that moment are not the same for us all. There are many situations where I feel completely unable to speak up.
I do remember whenever i feel introvert at public places and social speaking. But after getting to know ample knowledge to improve myself, I will definitely bring me up in the upcoming future. Thank you once again!!!! At last want to know one solution Sir How to cope with the unknown persons openly on any topic already discussing between them.
If anyone reading this is Extroverted please tell me, what do you do on a daily basis that makes peaople like you. I started trying to find new friend groups and kept on shifting around. The same thing happened when I moved to high school, since those 2 guys were in my high school as well and it was pretty unpleasant.
People would randomly called me faggot in the hallways and I was usually always alone and avoided people i knew in the halls.
I had like one or two friends I hung out with sometimes but that was it. In grade 10 to 12, things got better but because of it, i never really had a friend group in which i was close to. When I got to University, I started having my own friend group and it was nice but because i was alone for such a long time, I felt like I was just boring and ran out of things to say.
Especially when it came to dating. Thanks for sharing Roy. Really sorry to hear of your experiences through school.
That sounds horrible. People can be so harsh and disgusting. We often under-estimate our abilities. But the good news is that you can move forwards in these goals.
Conversation is something we can all get better at a good place to start is building a bank of good questions to ask people. I remember seeing a study that suggested people who ask lots of questions are seen by the other person in a conversation as more interesting than those who talk about themselves.
You are saying that being an introvert is a bad thing and I have been an introvert all my life and yes there have been problems but I have no desire to become an extrovert. There are a lot of things I like about myself and what is so perfect about an extrovert as they also have problems.
Do you think you are perfect? To other introverts I will say except who you are but knowing more about yourself will help overcome some of the struggles. Hi Linda, thanks for stopping by. But I wanted to show why being an introvert is something to celebrate, and the parts of our temperament that society might make us feel are curses, are actually gifts, when we look at them a little differently.
Sorry if that message was a little lost in the article. I could not talk to any girl comfortably and even with some rude boys. Infact when there is any argument with my parents i can argue for a long time but i could not understand why i cannot do it with them and why i get afraid.
If I have no friends I will for some reason out of nowhere be an extrovert until I make a few, then I go back to being an Introvert. Any thoughts or tips on how I can improve on that? Hey, I found this post very informative and helpful.
I am naturally content with my introversion apart from when my natural instinct as you put it gets in the way in situations such as conflict.
Unlike extroverts who gain energy from social interaction, introverts have to expend energy in social situations. After attending a party or spending time in a large group of people, introverts often feel a need to "recharge" by spending a period of time alone.
In order to know why some people are introverted and some people are extroverted, it is important to understand the role that your body's physiology plays. The way that your body responds to the outside environment plays a critical role in determining your level of extroversion and introversion. On a physiological level, a network of neurons located in the brainstem known as the reticular activating system RAS is responsible for regulating arousal levels including wakefulness and transitions between sleeping and waking.
The RAS also plays a role in controlling how much information you take in while you are awake. When confronted by potential threats in the environment, the RAS will increase your arousal levels in order for you to be alert and ready to deal with the danger. Each person has a basic set point in terms of arousal level. Some people tend to naturally have a much higher set point, while others have a much lower set point.
The psychologist Hans Eysenck suggested that these arousal levels could be thought of as a continuum. According to his arousal theory of extroversion:. According to Eysenck's theory, introverts are those that have naturally high levels of arousal. Because introverts tend to experience chronically high arousal levels, they tend to seek activities and environments where they can escape from overstimulation. Because of their naturally high arousal levels, they are more alert and take in more information from the environment.
Escaping somewhere to have time alone to recharge gives them the opportunity to process and reflect on what they have learned. Do you assume that you know who is an introvert and who isn't?
While you might think of an introvert as a shy wallflower who prefers to stay home alone instead of socializing, introverts can actually come in many types with a wide variety of characteristics. There are certainly plenty of introverts who are socially reserved and who would prefer to stay home and read a book rather than go to a big party, but there are also plenty of introverts who enjoy socializing. You might even be surprised to learn that many people who you think of as "social butterflies" might actually be quite introverted.
The following are just a few of the signs that you or someone you know might be an introvert. Do you ever feel exhausted after spending time with a lot of people?
After a day interacting with others, do you often need to retreat to a quiet place and have an extended amount of time all to yourself? One of the major characteristics of this personality type is that introverts have to expend energy in social situations, unlike extroverts who gain energy from such interactions. That doesn't mean that all introverts avoid social events altogether. Many introverts actually enjoy spending time around others, with one key caveat—introverts tend to prefer the company of close friends.
While an extrovert might go to a party with the goal to meet new people, an introvert intends to spend quality time talking to good friends. As an introvert, your idea of a good time is a quiet afternoon to yourself to enjoy your hobbies and interests. A few hours alone with a good book, a peaceful nature walk or your favorite television program are great ways to help you feel recharged and energized.
This does not mean that the average introvert wants to be alone all the time. Many introverts love spending time with friends and interacting with familiar people in social situations.
The key thing to remember is that after a long day of social activity, an introvert will probably want to retreat to a quiet place to think, reflect, and recharge. If having a few hours to be alone sounds like your idea of a good time, you just might be an introvert. One common misconception about introverts is that they don't like people. While introverts typically do not enjoy a great deal of socializing, they do enjoy having a small group of friends to whom they are particularly close.
Instead of having a large social circle of people they know only on a superficial level, introverts prefer to stick to deep, long-lasting relationships marked by a great deal of closeness and intimacy. Researchers have found that people high in this trait tend to have a smaller group of friends.
While extroverts generally have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, introverts typically choose their friends much more carefully. Their closest relationships tend to be profound and significant. They also prefer to interact with people on a one-on-one basis rather than in a large group setting. You may just find it easier to concentrate when working alone. That goes for your hobbies, too — introverted people often choose solitary pastimes, like reading, crafting, gaming, or gardening.
Research suggests, in fact, that high-quality relationships play a major role in happiness for introverts. After all, you need more time to yourself than an extroverted person might, so you probably have less time to spend connecting and catching up with a crowd. If you tend to keep to yourself, you might find it perfectly natural to listen and observe from the sidelines. Watching what goes on around you can give you more insight into others and offer clues to their personality and preferences.
Expressing yourself not your strong point? The end result? You learn more about others, which can boost empathy and your ability to offer emotional support.
Introverts often have an active inner thought process, so these traits can all suggest introversion. Anyone can zone out , but turning inward may offer introverts a way to leave situations that feel chaotic or uncomfortable. In short, it can serve as a survival mechanism, of sorts. In reality, though, it can help you cope in tense or overwhelming environments, from a loud holiday party to a long meeting with several short-tempered colleagues.
Many introverts take time to think carefully before speaking, so you might have a hard time offering a quick opinion about anything. Writing, on the other hand, allows you to consider your position thoroughly and choose just the right words to express yourself with confidence and care.
Some evidence suggests introverted people might experience emotions more intensely and have trouble managing those emotions. This greater sensitivity could help explain why many introverts develop depression. Learn more about the complex link between introversion and depression. A heightened sensitivity to emotions and other stimuli can factor into your preference for spending your time with loved ones who recognize and understand your need for space and solitude.
You want to share your energy with people you can trust not to overwhelm you, in other words. Introversion, like other aspects of personality, develops as a combination of two main factors: genes and environment. Your genetic makeup, or traits inherited from your biological parents, plays a key role in determining where you fall on the personality continuum.
The environment you grow up in also has an important impact. In short, observing how family members behave and respond in social settings can help shape your personality.
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