Its not in me. Girl's Behavior. Long story short, I only seem to attract women who have been through some sh-t. Every single girl I've dated or was talking with like , I'm only 20 so far has been like this, some worse than others.
I don't know what it is about me that attracts them. I'm not that great looking of a guy bug I am quite big and I'm not the best at dealing with people, very introverted. However they still like me anyways. This wouldn't be a problem if it didn't cause ME to be much more stressed out and have to constantly be that shoulder to cry on. I don't enjoy hearing the stories or having to talk them out of harming themselves, and I have ended up being used and burned by every one of them, making me now have trust issues.
The only answers I've gotten from some of the girls themselves were that I just "seemed like a kind guy" or "somebody to learn from", but that doesn't really answer it for me.
I feel like there has to be a deeper reason. There has to be something I am or that I do that makes me such a beacon. I'm sorry if this seems very hostile of a post. At this point I'm begging that I can just find an average, normal girl and not have to constantly be trying to make someone like themselves.
Thank you for the answers. Share Facebook. Why do I seem to only attract broken women? Add Opinion. I completely understand what you mean though! I have similar issues. The thing is, you're probably too polite. Being extremely polite draws those types of people, because being introverted, you hold your true opinions in from the get go and say what's most polite.
This gets them to trust you and they realize this and take advantage of it in a way. You simply become a punching bag for them because they know that you're too polite to oppose. They out all their frustrations with you. So, I think if you work on being more direct, even if it isn't too polite, it'll help you out!
For example, if someone is complaining about something, shutting it down relatively quickly is the best way to go! For example, they're saying that their last relationship really sucked but they still love them. You could say something like, "you told me yourself that the relationship sucked, so you just need to leave it in the past and move on. There's more people out there. I hope this helps!
Is this still revelant? BuchitaBuchys 1K opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic. This is why girls like me are hesitant to date. I pretty much am that girl you attract, I know it's difficult to deal with us. Sounds like tough love, and maybe it is. But there's actually a deeper meaning behind it: We attract what we think we deserve. And what we think we deserve is usually rooted in what we experienced or witnessed in our early childhood development.
Here's how to break the cycle. Before any true change can happen, you need to recognize your intimacy blocks—the patterns that you keep repeating in your relationships. These often stem from early childhood and are based on either the relationship you had with one of your parents or the relationship that your parents modeled for you.
For example, if your father was emotionally unavailable to you i. You're subconsciously hoping to get what you didn't get as a child out of this new relationship in your adulthood.
This deep-seated proclivity toward unavailable partners is embedded in your root chakra , which is the first chakra located at the base of your spine that's associated with instinct, survival, grounding, family, and security.
This happens because we are more comfortable with the pain that we know than the pain we don't know. So we go back to the same type of guy or the same relationship model trying to re-enact our past to fix it, but it never happens. Our inner child re-enacts the past by choosing the same type of partner over and over and being disappointed again and again in the hopes that a breakthrough will happen. He'll change. She'll change. It'll get better. To break this pattern, you have to push through the discomfort of change and the fear of the unknown.
The only way for it to get better is to stop hoping that that person will change, and just say no. That is the real breakthrough—recognizing the pattern and then making a conscious decision not to head down that path again even if it feels comfortable, safe, and familiar. It's called "growing pains" for a reason—growth is painful.
We have to take risks, enter the scary unknown, and stretch ourselves emotionally and spiritually in ways we've never done before. It can feel very uncomfortable at first. But the rewards are worth it. Own the fact that you are the one bringing the wrong people into your life. Mystery solved. Much like genetic variations help species thrive in a changing environment, our different personalities may help us survive in our world.
Despite the uncertainties, you might fare better with that special someone if you allow the object of your affections to see a bit of your extreme side. Already a subscriber?
Sign in. Thanks for reading Scientific American. Create your free account or Sign in to continue. See Subscription Options. Measure content performance. Develop and improve products. List of Partners vendors. Whether you are struggling with a mental health condition, coping with anxiety about a life situation, or simply looking for a therapist's insight, submit a question. Look out for my answers to your questions every Friday in the Healthy Mind newsletter.
And you naturally want to help them be their best. Your relationships with your parents might be the first place to look for clues. Perhaps you had a mother who dated men who needed to be fixed. Or maybe your father was a great guy who was battling serious problems. And now, you date men who remind you of your father. The more you focus on helping other people with their problems, the less time you have to invest addressing your own issues.
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